Life...sometimes

Thursday, December 12, 2002

I am a bee whose wings are flapping 257 times per second...

Sheesh, work has been crazy lately. I've had so many projects stacked on my desk I didn't think I was ever gonna finish. I thought I was gonna get buried neck-high, and for you normal heighted people, waist-deep, in projects. But I finished all but one, which is isn't an immediate concern. The boss isn't here so I can't proceed further until I get his okay...whew. I got my new mousepad and keyboard paddy thingies that make your wrists hurt less...for those of you who station yourself @ a computer for most of your living breathing day, you know what I'm talking about. I love it! And I didn't spend a penny...why? Company expense acct baby! I also finally changed my voicemail...no more Wei Bon Chang...it's now "Jay Bermudez's desk." Take that mofo's!

I've been eating way too much lately...way too much. And not exercising enough. I'm afraid to stand on a scale and find out how much I weigh now. It's rather quite frightening to think of the pounds of food I've taken in and the pounds I have not burned off. But not only that, I don't FEEL healthy, you know that feeling you get when you know you're body is working? Keeping those systems in check, making sure they all work? So tonight, I hope to get a run in somewhere and begin my road back to healthdom.

Two Bathroom concerns...

Number one:
Why the button fly? I mean, people don't even look there(do they?)_on a normal basis? Hey, nice pants, I especially like the fly...they must be great! Yeah right...my ass. But my concern is that it becomes an obstacle when going to the bathroom. Cuz I have button-fly's...and I go pee probably about 4 or 5 times throughout the day...and man, is opening and closing this stupid thing a beeeeeyatch. I mean, what if it was a bathroom emergency, like you were on a road trip to vegas and have been holding it in since you were jammed in gridlock on the 91 out in riverside and thought you didn't need to when you cruised past Barstow and now you need to go, and I mean GOOOOO. You can't just zip and go...you have to unbutton that crap...I'd hate to see that happen to someone I knew. And putting them on is just as much of a bitch...mind you, there is no real urgency in buttoning them, but still...too much work for pants. I'm telling you man, some fool is making millions off of torturing people like us.

Number two:
This is also one of those emergency bathroom concerns. And not @ home, but in other areas where you are not always sure about the cleanliness of a particular restroom facility. Sani-seats. They are great and serve their purpose, and don't get me wrong, a valuable and important contribution to the evolution of bathroom supplies. However, they are just not practical enough. I mean, if you really gotta go in one of those places where you gotta use one of these paper seats, public, work, etc., and I'm talking turtle peeking out time, it just takes too long to prep up the throne. I mean, you have to pull it out of the dispenser, and maker sure you rip it along those stupid perforations. And if you're not careful and rip too quickly, you'll soon find yourself needing another one cuz you tore it in half. Think all the while that you are dying to sit and let loose...isn't there someone out there being paid to think of a solution to this dilemma? Hurry up man! People are waiting!!!!!!

Does tomorrow start the 1st of the 12 days of X-mas? Or is X-mas the first day of the 12? I have never really known. But I thought Channukah was better than X-mas because it was eight days opposed to one? But didn't I just say 12 days of X-mas? So is there such thing or no? Hmmm...

Remember...
Fido Dido?

"The poor person is not one who is without a cent, but one who is without a dream"

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